Family meals with your baby

Why eat together

The AAP says to encourage family meals from the first feeding, and that the whole family should eat together when you can. The NHS says babies copy their parents and other children, enjoy watching you eat, and learn from being part of family mealtimes.

Shared meals help in a few ways:

• Your baby learns by watching. The CDC says sitting down as a family teaches your child how to eat and helps them develop social skills, and that modeling healthy eating can help them try new foods.
• They get used to family food. The NHS says homemade food made from simple ingredients, with no added sugar or salt, helps your baby get used to family foods.
• The habit lasts. For older children, the AAP links eating together at least 3 times a week with healthier eating and other benefits. Starting now makes it a normal part of the day.

You don’t have to eat every meal together. The AAP says to go for practical, not perfect: one shared meal a day, or a weekend breakfast, counts.

One meal for everyone

You don’t need to cook separately. An NHS children’s health team suggests cooking one meal for the family and eating together (Cambridgeshire and Peterborough NHS children’s health team).

1. Cook it plain. Leave out salt, stock cubes and gravy while the dish cooks. The NHS says not to add salt to your baby’s food or cooking water, and to remember this when you cook for the family if you plan to give your baby the same food.

2. Take your baby’s portion out. Spoon it out before you add salt, salty sauces (soy sauce, ketchup, gravy) (NHS), hot chili or anything else for the adults. Season the rest of the pot, or at the table.

3. Change the texture. Mash, blend, mince or cut your baby’s portion to suit their stage. See introducing textures and safe food sizes and shapes.

4. Cool and check. The NHS says to cool hot food and test it before giving it to your baby.

Gentle flavors are fine for babies in UK advice: the NHS’s baby recipes use mild herbs and spices from 6 months, and its general salt advice suggests them instead of salt. The AAP says fresh baby food should be cooked with no added seasoning. See herbs and spices for babies.

Family dishes that adapt well

• Lentil dal or bean stew, mashed for younger babies. Try the mild red lentil dal.
• Bolognese or a mild chili made with minced meat and no salt, mixed with soft pasta or rice. Mash or flatten any beans: the CDC lists whole beans as a choking hazard. See beef bolognese.
• Chicken and vegetable stew, with soft shredded chicken. See the chicken and vegetable stew.
• Baked fish and roast vegetables: flake the fish and check carefully for bones, and serve soft vegetable sticks. See baked salmon and veg.
• Pasta with vegetable sauce, blended or chunky depending on age.

Include iron-rich foods often, such as meat, fish, beans, lentils or iron-fortified cereal (AAP, NHS). If a dish contains a common allergen like egg, milk, wheat or fish, offer that food on its own first. See how to introduce allergens.

What stays off your baby’s plate

Some family foods need to wait, or never come in their adult form:

• Salty foods: bacon, sausages, salted chips, crackers, crisps, ready meals and takeaways (NHS). See salt and sugar for babies.
• Added sugar and honey: no honey before 12 months, and no foods or drinks with added sugar up to age 4 (NHS).
• Choking hazards: whole nuts, whole grapes, chunks of meat or cheese, hard raw vegetables and popcorn (CDC). Quarter grapes and cherry tomatoes lengthwise. Skip hot dogs and sausages under 1; for toddlers, cut them lengthwise into thin strips, never round slices (AAP, CDC). See the choking hazards list.
• Other foods to avoid: see foods to avoid for babies.

Setting up the table

• Seat your baby upright and strapped in (CDC). See high chairs and seating.
• Close, but not too close. The CDC suggests facing your child toward you or the family. The AAP warns that a baby can push against a table hard enough to tip a high chair, so leave a gap their feet can’t reach.
• Turn screens off. The NHS, CDC and AAP all suggest no TV, phones or tablets at meals.
• Talk to your baby. The CDC says talking with your child at meals matters, and the NHS suggests giving them food when the rest of the family is eating.
• Keep regular times. The NHS says having meals at around the same time every day helps your baby know when it’s food time.

You offer, they decide

Put a little of the family meal in front of your baby and let them decide how much to eat. The CDC says your child doesn’t have to finish the food on their plate. The NHS says never to force your baby to eat.

Babies often take a while to accept new foods: the NHS says it can take 10 tries or more. Eating the same food yourself, without fuss, is one of the best ways to help (NHS, CDC). Funny faces don’t mean they dislike it.

Toddlers at the family table

From 12 months, the NHS says your child will be eating 3 meals a day with a variety of foods, much like the rest of the family. Toddlers can eat the same meal in smaller portions, with a few changes:

• Still no added salt. The NHS says there’s no need to add salt to your child’s food, and that the whole family benefits from gradually cutting salt in cooking.
• Still cut for safety. Keep cutting round and firm foods, and serve bite-sized pieces about 1 cm (just under ½ inch).
• Let them serve themselves. The Cambridgeshire and Peterborough team suggests putting food in the middle of the table and letting your child help themselves. The AAP suggests small jobs, such as folding napkins or arranging fruit on a plate.
• The adult’s job and the child’s job. The adult puts the food on the table; the child chooses whether and how much to eat (Cambridgeshire and Peterborough team).

See picky eating in toddlers and the toddler meal schedule.

Stay with them

Family meals can be busy, but stay with your baby the whole time they eat (NHS). The CDC says to watch children at all times while they eat, and to avoid distractions and rushing.

If your child can’t cough, cry or breathe: shout for help, and have someone call 911. If you’re alone and your phone is with you, call on speaker and start back blows straight away.shout for help. Start back blows straight away, with chest thrusts if your child is under 1 or abdominal thrusts if they’re over 1. If the blockage hasn’t cleared after one round of each, call 999 (on speaker if you’re alone) and keep going.shout for help, and have someone call your local emergency number (such as 112 in Europe or 000 in Australia). If you’re alone and your phone is with you, call on speaker and start back blows straight away. See gagging vs. choking for each step.

Where US and UK advice differs

• Seasoning. The NHS’s baby recipes use mild herbs and spices from 6 months, and its general salt advice suggests herbs and spices instead of salt. The AAP says fresh foods for babies should be cooked with no added salt or seasoning. If you follow US advice, take your baby’s portion out before you add herbs and spices too.
• Cow’s milk in family dishes. The NHS says cow’s milk can be used in cooking or mixed with food from around 6 months, but not as a main drink until 12 months. The CDC says not to give cow’s milk before 12 months. If you follow US advice, use breast milk or formula in your baby’s portion instead.