Picky eating in toddlers

Why toddlers get picky

If your easygoing baby has turned into a toddler who eats three foods and pushes the rest away, you’re not alone. The AAP calls picky eating “often the norm for toddlers.”

There are good reasons for it:

• Growth slows down. Babies usually triple their birth weight in the first year. After that, growth and appetite slow, so toddlers really do need less food than you might expect (AAP).
• Preferences are forming, and they change. A favorite food one day may hit the floor the next. For weeks, some toddlers eat only one or two preferred foods (AAP).
• New foods feel risky. The NHS says it’s perfectly normal for toddlers to refuse to eat, or even taste, new foods.

The CDC lists favoring just a couple of foods and not wanting foods to touch on the plate as normal behaviors that often fade by about age 5.

Look at the week, not the meal

The NHS suggests thinking about what your child eats over a week rather than in a day. Toddler appetites swing a lot: the AAP notes a 1-year-old may eat everything at breakfast and almost nothing the rest of the day, and that the diet usually balances out over several days.

The reassuring rule from both sides of the Atlantic: if your child is active, growing and gaining weight, and seems well, they’re getting enough (NHS, AAP). Your pediatrician or health visitor tracks growth at checkups.

Share the jobs: you offer, they decide

The AAP puts it simply: it’s the parent’s responsibility to provide food, and the child’s decision to eat it. In practice, that splits into two sets of jobs.

Your jobs:

• What is offered: one family meal with a range of foods, including at least one food your child usually eats (AAP).
• When food is offered: regular meals and planned snacks, so your child comes to the table hungry but not starving. See the toddler meal schedule.
• Where food is eaten: seated, at the table or in a high chair, with an adult watching. No TV, tablets or phones at the table (AAP, CDC).

Your child’s jobs:

• Whether to eat what’s there.
• How much to eat, from none to seconds.

This takes the fight out of mealtimes. You don’t have to win every bite, and your child gets to practice listening to their own hunger.

What to skip

These are tempting on a hard day, and they tend to backfire.

• Pressure. Coaxing “one more bite,” spoon-chasing or making a child finish their plate. The AAP says pressuring children to eat, or punishing them if they don’t, can make them actively dislike foods they might otherwise enjoy. The AAP also says never to force your child to eat something they don’t want.
• Bribes and food rewards. “Eat your broccoli and you can have dessert” makes the prize food more exciting and the broccoli a chore (AAP). The NHS warns that using food as a reward can teach children that sweets are nice and vegetables are nasty.
• Cooking a second meal. The AAP advises serving one meal for the family and resisting the urge to make something else when your child refuses. Making a backup meal only encourages picky eating.
• A fuss when food is refused. The NHS suggests simply taking the food away without comment, staying calm (even when it’s frustrating) and trying again another time.

What helps

• Keep offering. The CDC says it may take 8 to 10 exposures before a young child is willing to try a new food, and the AAP says it can take 10 or more tastes before a toddler accepts it. Offer a small amount, and don’t worry if it comes back untouched. The CDC suggests waiting a week before offering the same new food again, and the AAP a week or two.
• Pair new with familiar. Serve a small portion of something new next to a food your child already likes (CDC). The AAP suggests pairing bitter or sour flavors with familiar ones, such as broccoli with a little grated cheese.
• Build food bridges. Once a food is accepted, offer others with a similar color, flavor or texture. If your child likes mashed sweet potato, try mashed butternut squash or carrot next (AAP).
• Change the form. A child who refuses cooked carrots may happily eat finely grated raw carrot (NHS). Grated is the safe raw form: the AAP lists raw carrot sticks and chunks as a choking hazard for toddlers. Dips are often a hit with toddlers (AAP): try hummus or plain yogurt with soft cooked vegetable sticks.
• Eat together. Children learn by copying you. Eat with them as often as you can, and chat about things other than the food (NHS, CDC).
• Let them help. Toddlers can wash vegetables, stir, or choose between two fruits at the store (AAP, CDC). Offering 2 or 3 healthy options and letting your child choose helps too (AAP).
• Mind the timing. Don’t leave meals until your child is too hungry or tired to eat, and keep snacks to about 2 a day (NHS).
• Watch the milk. Lots of milk or juice between meals fills small stomachs. See cow’s milk at 12 months for daily amounts.

Keep every food safe for their age, even when you’re trying something new: grapes and cherry tomatoes cut lengthwise into quarters, no whole nuts, and soft pieces cut small. See safe food sizes and shapes.

When to ask for help

Most picky eating is a phase. Talk to your pediatrician, GP or health visitor if your child:

• is losing weight, or isn’t growing or gaining weight as expected (AAP, NHS inform)
• refuses most solid foods after 9 months of age (AAP)
• has a feeding problem that happens often, or doesn’t improve with the tips above (AAP)
• leaves out a whole food group for a long time, which can mean missing important nutrients (AAP)
• eats only a very small range of foods, for example only foods of one color or texture (NHS inform)
• seems anxious or very upset at mealtimes, or afraid of eating after a choking or vomiting scare (NHS inform)
• seems unusually tired or weak: a very limited diet can lead to low iron (NHS inform). See iron-rich first foods

NHS inform explains that avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) is more than picky eating: it’s when avoiding food starts to affect a child’s health, growth or daily life. It’s not something you caused, and help is available. Your pediatrician can check growth and may refer you to a feeding specialist or registered dietitian.For children under 5, your health visitor or GP is the place to start. They can refer you to services such as dietetics or speech and language therapy.Your doctor or child health nurse can check growth and refer you to a feeding specialist if needed.

Where US and UK advice differs

• Vitamins. The NHS recommends a daily supplement with vitamins A, C and D for all children from 6 months to 5 years, picky or not. In the US, the AAP says vitamin supplements are rarely needed for toddlers who eat a varied diet, with exceptions such as vitamin D, iron and calcium. If your child’s diet is very limited, ask your pediatrician whether they need one.
• Praise. The NHS suggests praising your child for eating, even if it’s only a little. AAP advice focuses on keeping mealtimes low-key and avoiding fuss over what’s eaten or refused. Both agree: no pressure, no bribes, no food rewards.
• Snacks. The NHS says 2 healthy snacks a day is plenty. The AAP suggests 1 or 2 snacks at age 2, and 2 or 3 in its general guidance for young children.